Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
.
.
.
.
Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…

Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.

Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
“Beta tum bahut padhoge”
Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
ye bata paas kab hounga???

New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”

1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
saw a couple kissing on the road…
He suddenly shouted and said look mom
they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

Height of Shame.

At bus stop a girl was standing
with her face covered. A man on bike stops
and says “Chalna hai kya?”
Girl replies : Papa mein hoon.

Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?

Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge

Girls of 1990– “Agar tum mil jao zamana chor denge hum”
Girls of 2011– “Agra tum mil jao purana chor denge hum!”

Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake,
I am comming to stay with U!

Modern Majnu– Mein tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gai, lut gayi, meri duniya rushwa ho gayi…
Modern Laila– To karmjali, mein kaun sa bank managar ban gaya

Santa found cigarette in daughter’s room “Ohh God! She smokes?”
Then she found wine, “O God! She drinks?” Then he saw boy,
“Thank God@ To ye sab ess boy ka hai”

Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
Salesman : Pata nahi
Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!

Preity Zintaaaa ne hoto par “India” ke tirange ka
tattoo laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA”

Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!

Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!




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