One hand on pen, other on phone, One ear on lecture,
other on gossip, One eye on board, other on Girlfriend,
Which Ass says student life is easy?
We are very busy..!!!

Ek student ki aakhri khwaish – Mujhe jala dena
ya dafna dena, maru to 1 ghoot beer pila dena,
mein tajmahal nahi chahta dosto, meri kabr
par girls hostel bana dena!!

Apne Fair hone par itna guroor na karo, Sab do din ki masti hai..
Aapki khubsurti bhi tab tak hai, jab tak FAIR & LOVELY sasti hai…

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin
phone without receiver!.............short jokes

Santa : Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
Sales man : Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Santa : Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows XP install karna hai!

Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?
Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.
Baccha : Itna pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?

Golu: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.
Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
Golu : Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de!!

Ali ke 4 baache hue, naam rakhe Yusuf Ali,
Altaf Ali, Irfan Ali, Asif Ali,
Fir 5va or 6va bacha hua to Ali ke begum
ne naam rakhe – Bas-Kar Ali, Raham-Ali

Santa driving on the wrong side of road..
&
Said…
O===SHIT===
Aaj phir late ho gaya.
Saare log wapis ja rahe hai.............short jokes

Girlfriend ke aansu aur boyfriend ke aansu me kya fark hai?
GF ke aansu farmaish puri karwane ke liye nikalte hain,
Jabki boyfriend ke aansu unhe pura karte karte nikalte hain!!!

Girl : Tum mujhe apni heere ki ring de do, mein ring ko dekh
ke tumhe yaad kiya karungi,
Boy : Tum ye sochkar yaad kar lena ki kamine se ring mangi
thi aur usne nahi di!!!

Dhobi police se: Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main
khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!

Santa to Banta : Yeh bacha tumhara kya lagta hai?
Banta : yeh mera door ka bhai hai,
Santa : Door ka mein samjha nahin,
Banta : Ess k aur mere beech 8 behan bhai aur hai !

Very Smart Garment shopkeeper
Aadmi-"Mujhe 1 Lady Suit Dikha Do..
Dukandar-"Biwi Ke Liye Chahiye, Ya Koi Achha WaLa Dikhau..

Ek SHARABI DARU Pee Pee K"Mar"Gaya,
Lekin Marte-Marte Bhi Ye Anmol Baat Kah Gaya
DARU To"Branded" Hi Peeta Tha,
Saala "Liver" Hi Local Nikla.............short jokes

Girls jab sare kapde utaar leti h to kya hota h dost batoo?

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Rassi khali ho jati h aur kuch nahi hota yaar

Patni: sharam nahi aati, dusri
Aurat ko ghur ghur kar dekh rahe ho...!
Ab tum shadi shuda ho..
.
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Pati: aisa kaha likha hai ki upwas
Ho to khane ka menu bhi nahi
Dekh sakte

Aaj anmol vachan:
Sukh aadmi ko utna milega,
Jitna usne punya kiya hoga.
Lekin
Shanti aadmi ko utni hi milegi,
Jitni uski biwi ki marzi hogi.

Smart hone ki sabse badi problam....
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Sari ladkiyo ko lagta ki iski to pahle se hi girlfrnd hogi
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Unko kya pata isee vajah se aaj tak single hu mai...

santa-I lost rs.1000 in a bet
banta- how
santa-on cricket match, i bet rs.500 and lost.
banta where did the rest go?
santa-I bet on the highlight too. very funny santa banta jokes on cricket

My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
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I don't have an iPhone.

3 larkiyon ko 10 Saal ki Saza mili....
tino ek hi Room mai 10 saal guzarnay k bad
Jab riha hokar ghar janay lagii to....
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1 larki boli .....
chal thekk hai yaar baakii baten mobile per kartey hain.....

Santa - "sir ji,
aap apni patni ko party mein kyunahi laate?"
Boss - "woh gaon ki hai.."
Santa - "Oh sorry,
mujhe laga woh sirf aapki hai.

Boyfriend ne apni girlfriend ko rat ko dinner pe le jane ka program banaya aur puchha.
BF : “darling are you free tonight?”
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GF ne kuch or he samgha: acha baba free aaj me tumse koi rupye nahi lungi?“

Gf: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu??
Bf: Nahi.
GF: Kyun ?...
BF: Main"hanuman chalisa"padhkar ­ sota hu.

2 bhoot jangle me ghum rahe the.....
Pahla bhoot:-vo dekh vaha per insaan hai.
Dusra bhoot:-chup ker insaan vinsaan kuch nahi hota hai, sub vaham hai.




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